Well here we are. The hope of a new year. New beginnings. A chance to move past the emotionally loaded two years previously.

For me, it is the anticipation of great things. It is going to be a year of great selfishness. By that I mean:

I am going to indulge in self-care.

I am going to grow both in health and creativity.

I am going to be selfish with my time. I don’t want to spend it doing things I don’t like doing or being with people who drain me.

I am investing in my creative journey.

I am 44-years-old. I have been a people-pleaser from birth. It is only now, when both my children are nearly out of the nest, that I realize - I don’t know who I am. I mean I know that I am a daughter, a mama, a wife, a friend, a coworker, etc. But in the last few months, I have come to the conclusion that I have what I call “Runaway Bride Syndrome”.

You remember the film. Julia Roberts is the “Runaway Bride”, never committing to marriage until she realizes she doesn’t know who she is. It is only when she discovers what kind of eggs she likes, eggs Benedict, and turning inward does she see herself. It doesn’t matter that Richard Gere saw her. And that’s where I have found myself. I have been everything to everyone else, I forgot myself. And in hindsight, I never had a chance to stop and figure that out.

This post was much more in depth as I write it on a plane, flying into Phoenix earlier this month. It was a cathartic post. It was an emotional flood from the depths of the soul. Maybe I will share those thoughts at a later time.

This is the bottom line of that out-pouring:

Today I am flying into Phoenix with mixed emotions from the pain that I have gone through. But today is the beginning of my artistic journey. I am meeting a group of women in the desert, Scottsdale, for an art Mastermind retreat. This means big things for me personally this year.

I am thankful to everyone who has supported my dream, and gotten me to this place right now. I hope you will come along on this adventure. I promise you a beautiful journey.

Enjoy a few photos from the weekend!

Xoxo

Jen

Arizona Botanical Garden. Photo by Jen Howell.

I hit the “Share” button. It’s out there now. No taking it back.

Breathe.

Stepping outside of my comfort zone has never been easy for me. I have spent my life entire life making sure everyone else is happy and taken care of. I am sure so many of you have done or are doing the same.

But there has come a moment, and I am not willing to shrink back from it. I want an art culture here where I live. Cities all around me have lively art scenes. They have cultural events. They have music events. I want that for my city.

I have just gotten back into art but have always been a creative. But for most of my life, I have had to either put it aside, ignored it or I made excuses for myself as why I cannot do it. But now I want to be submersed in it. I am fortunate to have a full-time job. My son is in college and my daughter is about to be. The timing seems right. Things are falling into place. So if not now, when. Let’s see our artists shine. I know our City’s is trying to start a reboot and I hope to be a part of that. Let’s bring on a renaissance.

I have a vision for an art & event center in Lodi. Events like art fairs and festivals. Art in public spaces. Workshops. Food events and more. A place to have artist retreats and where artist can come to do a residency. I have a little book where all my ideas and the vision reside. I even have a name chosen. Duende. And someday it is going to happen. Some way, it will happen.

But for now, I take the first steps and are calling on my local art friends to join me and participate in an open studio event.

If you are a local artist (Lodi, Woodbridge, Acampo or Lockeford area), and would like to join me in an open studio event, the date is 11/14/21 from 10 AM to 3 PM.

To register and get on the map, go to my website and sign up. It is $20 per artist to register. You will be added to the map which will be released on 11/10/21. You will get an artist feature on ‘The Artists’ page and social media posts. A portion of the proceeds will be donated to the Lodi Community Art Center.
So let’s get together, see what our beautiful art community has to offer and support our local community art center.

If you don’t have a studio per se, pair up with a friend who has space for you.

Much love,

Jen